Somewhere between the "wyd" texts and the three-month talking stages that go absolutely nowhere, a whole generation of Black singles looked around and said: nah. We're done.
And now there's data to prove it. BLK just released its second annual State of Black Singles Report — a survey of more than 5,000 singles — and the headline is clear: 75% are looking for something serious or marriage-minded. Not vibes. Not "let's see where this goes." Intentional dating.
Three out of four. Let that sit for a second.
The boundaries are getting clearer, too
The report didn't just ask what people want — it asked where the lines are. And 52.3% said keeping a dating app active after you've agreed to be exclusive crosses one.
Read that again: more than half of Black singles surveyed consider a still-live dating profile a dealbreaker once you've gone exclusive. The message is unmistakable — if you're in, be in.
This is the end of the era where "we're not really together" was a loophole you could drive a situationship through. People are naming what they want earlier, and they're walking away faster when the other person can't match it.
What intentional dating means when you're just getting to know someone
If you're newly dating someone, this shift is actually good news — the guessing game is over. You don't have to pretend you're cool with casual when you're not. Saying "I'm dating with intent" used to sound intense. Now it's just... Tuesday.
But here's the part nobody talks about: intentional dating requires actual conversation. You can't figure out if someone's serious from their photo grid. You have to ask the real questions early — the ones that tell you who somebody actually is.
That's exactly why we made Dating Assassins. It's a 150-question card game built for new daters — you draw a card, answer honestly, and if you hesitate, your date gets to yell "You have been assassinated! Game over!" It's the fastest way to skip the small talk and find out whether this person is actually on the same page as you. $15.99, and worth every penny if it saves you from one more six-week "situation."
Intentional doesn't mean joyless
Let's be clear: dating with intent doesn't mean turning every first date into a job interview. The best part of the situationship era ending is that the fun gets to stay. Laughing over coffee, the good nervous feeling, the story you'll tell later — all of that still counts.
It just means the fun has a direction now. You're not killing time; you're looking for your person. And honestly? That's hotter than any situationship ever was.
So ask the big questions early. Delete the apps when it's real. And if the conversation ever goes quiet on date three — draw a card. You know the one.
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