There's a new word for what your friend has been doing since March: solo maxxing. Not sulking. Not "taking a break." Maximizing — pouring every dollar, evening, and drop of emotional bandwidth that dating used to eat straight back into yourself.
And honestly? The numbers say she's onto something. A global survey of 14,380 adults by analytics firm MyIQ found that nearly half of 18-to-34-year-olds say being single feels more peaceful than being in a relationship. Forty-two percent said relationships get in the way of their goals, their money, or becoming who they're trying to be. A third said they're actively avoiding dating to protect their mental health.
Why solo maxxing makes perfect sense right now
Start with the money, because the money is loud. BMO's 2026 Real Financial Progress Index put the average all-in cost of a date at about $189 — dinner, drinks, getting there, looking like you tried. For Gen Z, it's $205 a date. Millennials are somehow spending $252. One "let's grab drinks and see" can cost more than your electric bill.
Then there's the emotional math. Thirty-seven percent of the young adults MyIQ surveyed described modern dating as emotionally exhausting — the app fatigue, the performing availability, the slow fade after three good conversations. Peace starts looking less like settling and more like strategy.
So no judgment here for the solo maxxers. Protecting your peace is a legitimate life choice, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.
But when you do go out, make solo maxxing count
Here's the thing nobody says about the solo-maxxing era: it raises the bar. When your default evening is a face mask, your own playlist, and zero performance, the person who gets you off that couch has to be worth it. And when they are — when someone finally earns a Friday night — you cannot afford to spend $205 discovering three hours in that you have nothing to talk about.
That's the real tax on modern dating. Not the dinner. The small talk. The forty-five minutes of "so where did you grow up" and "do you like to travel" (everyone likes to travel; it's not a personality) while the meter runs on the most expensive conversation of your week.
So here's a proposal for the rare, precious, worth-it date: skip the warm-up. Draw a card, answer honestly, and find out in ten minutes what small talk hides for ten dates. That's the whole idea behind Dating Assassins — a 150-question card game for new daters where you answer the real stuff fast, and if you hesitate or dodge, your date gets to yell "You have been assassinated! Game over!" At $15.99, it's the cheapest part of the evening by about $190.
Solo maxx your heart out. Guard the peace. But when someone's worth the $205 — make the date do some work too.
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