HOW TO BECOME GOOD AT ONLINE DATING
This is an exciting time to be alive, but it can also be a little confusing. A lot of us are figuring out how to use dating apps and what they're for. Online dating is the new normal. One in seven relationships start online, and it's one of the most popular ways to find a partner. In recent years, the number of people using online dating has increased dramatically.
The purpose of this article is to explain how you can become good at online dating—and have fun doing it!
So, here is a brief guide!
How to learn from online dating
- Understand the purpose of the app. One of the most important things to do is understand what you're using, and why. If you're using Tinder, for example, it's likely that you want to find someone who's attractive and single—someone who may be interested in going out with you.
- Know what you want from a date. Are there specific things that would make a date good or bad for you? Do certain qualities appeal more than others? If so, think about those traits when choosing whom to message with on any given app or platform (Tinder is more casual; Coffee Meets Bagel is more formal).
- Be prepared for rejection. This can be hard when we're used to being accepted all the time (especially by people we meet online), but remember: everyone gets rejected sometimes! It happens—and it sucks—but don't let it get you down too much; if one person rejects us, another will accept us soon enough!
You have to understand the basics
The online-dating world is a numbers game, so don’t get discouraged if you don’t get a lot of matches. If your goal is to meet someone special, then you need to be patient and understand that there will be bad dates. In general, people are busy and have their own lives. It may take weeks, or even months before they respond to your message or like your profile picture (they may not even look at it). Don't let this discourage you; just keep sending messages and hope for the best!
Be patient and understand that there will be bad dates
Being patient and understanding that there will be bad dates is important. These things happen. If you're not feeling it after the first few dates, then it's okay to move on and try someone else — or even just take a break from dating for a while.
Bad dates are just a part of life, especially when you're single and trying new things in your twenties (or thirties... or forties...). Don't take it personally! It's better to learn from these experiences than get too invested in one person who isn't right for you.
Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself about how much of a connection there really is between two people; if something doesn't feel right after five or six dates over two months, maybe it's best to admit defeat and move on before spending any more time on an unfulfilling relationship. And most importantly: don’t let fear keep you from trying again!
When it comes to online dating, honesty is the best policy. And I'm not just talking about being up front with your intentions and expectations—you should be honest with yourself as well.
You should be honest about what you want in a partner and what you have to offer them. And if that means being open about having kids or no longer wanting them, then so be it! Don't let people who don't know how great of a person you are decide for themselves whether or not they want to date someone who has children or might someday again down the road. At the end of the day, we're all adults here; everyone has things from their pasts that may make some people uncomfortable—so why not just lay those cards on the table? It's better than playing mind games and wasting time trying (and failing) to hide something that won't go away anyway once someone gets close enough to see through all of your smoke screens.
If there are certain qualities or characteristics that matter most when looking for love (i.e., "I'm looking for someone who likes X," "I need someone who believes in Y''), then please be upfront about them! If there are aspects of yourself (like tattoos) that might turn off potential mates but matter little otherwise ("I hate tattoos''), then share them with us too! This will save us both time by eliminating dead-ends right off the bat rather than spending weeks exchanging messages only later realizing neither party was actually interested in pursuing anything further together because they had different ideas regarding what they wanted out of life together later down the road once we've built trust enough over time."
You should ask questions that help you get to know them better. There are several ways to do this:
- Ask questions that you want to know the answer to. These will probably be questions about their personality, interests, and values.
- Ask questions that help you learn more about their interests. For example: Do they like sports? If so, which ones? Do they play any sports? Have they ever played for a team or club? What's their favorite sport and why do they like it? These kinds of questions can reveal a lot about someone's personality and preferences—the things that matter most to them in life—and even give insights into their values (e.g., "I love playing baseball because it brings our family together.").
Read their answers, but also pay some attention to how they try to talk about themselves.
The way someone answers a question can give you insight into how they think, and what's important to them. If a person says that their favorite movie is Titanic, that could be because it's an amazing film (which means they're probably artistic), or because it was their first love story (which means they tend to live in the past). The same goes for hobbies: if someone enjoys gardening and knitting, maybe they're creative; if they like poker and video games, maybe they have an active social life.
It's also worth paying attention to their response style: do they tend to ramble? Are they direct and concise? Or somewhere in between? All of this information can help you get a sense of who this person is—and whether or not you want to keep talking with them!
Pay attention to how much time they take ...
You can figure out if someone is good at online dating by paying attention to the amount of time it takes for them to respond. If you message a girl and she's quick to reply, that's a good sign (unless you're looking for someone who will spend hours writing back). You'll want to avoid people who take forever—it could mean that they aren't interested because they're busy, or maybe they just aren't as quick as you are. Either way? It doesn't bode well. The same goes for guys: Are they taking forever? If so, move on!
It's important to understand what dating apps are for.
It's important to understand what dating apps are for.
- There are some people who use dating apps to find a partner, and that's great. This is absolutely one of their functions; it's why many people use them in the first place!
- But there are also a lot of other people who use online dating as an alternative way to meet new friends or have fun with strangers—and these uses can be just as valid and important as finding a romantic partner.
That being said, if you're going into online dating expecting only (or even primarily) to find love, you may find yourself disappointed by how unfulfilling the experience can be at times.
If you've been using dating apps for a while and haven't had much luck, it could be that you just need to change things up. Try out a few of these tips and see if they work for you!